My New Best Friend
I have been getting reacquainted with my New Best Friend lately, my Inner Child, the Frightened Child within.
He used to yell and scream a lot, but he is much softer and quieter these days. He’s not nearly as frightened as he was in years past, but he still calls out to me a few times a day.
- Don’t screw up! Don’t make mistakes! You have to get it right or you will be in trouble!
- Don’t get screwed! Watch out or you will lose your stuff! There isn’t enough to go around! You can’t trust people!
- Don’t fight! Don’t argue! You will piss them off! They might hit you or hate you or yell at you or sabotage you! Don’t make them upset! Protect yourself!
- Don’t lose! You have to come in first! You have to be the best! You gotta win the game! Otherwise, no one will love you!
My Frightened Child can’t help it. It’s his nature. He is just, well, frightened.
And whenever I hear him (and it is more of a buzz that I feel, really), I just tell him that I love him, that it will be OK, that it is OK to make mistakes, it is OK to disagree, and games are just games.
And I give thanks for the reminder he provides to me of what I value the most:
being Loved and Supported and being Strong.
And in that way, he is my New Best Friend.
What does your Frightened Child say to you? What are your deepest, darkest fears and how are they impacting your life?
Suggested Exercise: Listen to your Frightened Child. Pay attention, and write down everything you hear and feel so you can learn from it.
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